This article had me looking for spare change in my handbag

Is there a link between income and well-behaved children?

This includes a special Mothers Day guilt trip for all mothers. (Yeah, what a treat – let blokes get off scot-free!).
Dr Khanam said while income was important for cognitive development, the ground breaking study found when it came to non-cognitive development, mothers were key.

If you’re like me, you’ll wonder what the researcher wrote in the full article which was presented to the 34th Australian Conference of Health Economists. Well, the full paper hasn’t been published and can only be obtained from the author. You may find an abstract at her university’s depositors’ webpage.

 

Aaaaaand I’m back!

Yeah, it’s taken me 6 weeks to get off my tuchus and write another post.

Bronchitis kicked my butt. Then I was trying to get back and neck pain under control. Latest sweet thing: insomnia. I look like somebody put my eyes in with sooty fingers. All of me looks like a pink dumpling stuffed into unfashionable clothes (but with nice accessories, of course).

I feel I’ve done well to keep up looking neat and tidy, keep Miss Seven Year Old (aka the Princess) on time for school, fed and watered, and to look after the cat. Keeping papers in the house under control has been rather more difficult.

Thank goodness the cleaners come today. My back and arms get a break! Yay! And the cleaners change the bed linen also which is a great relief – one more time that I don’t have to stretch to stuff a doona into a clean doona cover, or fight sheets that won’t go on the mattress.

So what’s living with pain like? It’s different for each person. We might share some similarities, but how we respond and deal with pain and life at the same time will be according to each person’s resources.

If we’re short on resources (e.g. a partner who will share cooking and cleaning and tidying, access to medicine that works efficiently, etc.) then the level is Barely Coping some days. Other days it’s Damn I’m Marvellous Despite Feeling Like My Butt has been Kicked by a Mean Donkey.

I’m a bit over the “spoons” theory. It has been co-opted by people who have NO bloody idea of what it is like to live with chronic pain, nor the exhaustion and depression that can accompany it.

OK, grumble over. I’ve managed to get to work (yay!) for a section meeting (erk) and then will have singing later on today (yay!) tho I have been so busted up with insomnia that I don’t have all my sheet music ready (erk). Story of my life, darlings!

Speaking of which, when I’m tired and in pain, my speech becomes a mild version of word salad at worst. At best, I can’t manage people’s names and everyone gets called “darling”. To my embarrassment, I called my neurosurgeon darling last week. He didn’t seem displeased (thank goodness) but I’ll try harder to get his name right.

 

And then I got bronchitis

I didn’t know I had bronchitis. I felt unwell for about three days, went to work, saw friends, felt like total rubbish and thought I was having problems with asthma. I dutifully took my asthma puffers etc.

On Monday I was barking. Not barking mad (that is apparently my default setting), but the sort of cough that makes the cat run for the hills and DD say “Mummy, that is not a good cough but at least you covered your mouth.”

I went to work. Because what else would I do while running a temperature and being fuzzy-headed? I was sent home after a couple of hours because my workmates couldn’t stand the noise I was making. Just as a precaution, I went to the doctor on the way home. Sure enough, I was actually ill. I was so impressed, I made sure to get a medical certificate so I could say to my boss (who doesn’t like me taking sick days) “See? I really am sick.”

I’m taking erythromicin tablets which my stomach objects to. I found these work better after having a bit of food first. I’m not going through yesterday’s unlovely phase of retching etc. Best to draw a veil over that … All this on top of having Rulide for sinusitis a couple of weeks ago.

I’ll get some live yoghurt to eat today. Sure, I know it’s a good thing to have that stuff while on meds, but when you’re the only adult in the household, it’s not a given that one will remember these sorts of things while in a fever fuzz. My mother-in-law has kindly taken DD to school which is an enormous help.

 

Nutty kids

This really gave me a giggle. http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2013/03/sometimes-you-feel-like-nut-sometimes.html
Not that DD would do anything like this since she’s really not that interested in how boys are different. The protective mother part of me roars “And long may that last!”

I do like the drama teacher’s comment, though.

 

Knitting

I have found several patterns for catnip mice for The Little Cat Prince. Granted, he’s not so little nowadays but he still loves playing with pretend mice.

DD was given knitting needles and a selection of various yarns by a lovely lady at church for her birthday. DD has been asking me to teach her how to knit and I’m happy to do so. Knitting is pretty straightforward once you’ve got the hand and yarn movements stuck in kinetic memory. I’m sure that DD’s doll would like a scarf for winter.

Naturally the crankiness starts in earnest when a kid sees *fabulous* knitting patterns and wants to do them – or wants their darling mother to knit those items!

In an attempt to stave off such ambition, I’ve got 3 catnip mousie patterns. The Little Cat Princes doesn’t like catnip but I’m sure he would like these. I want to get some fleece to stuff them with – much more interesting smell for him while he plays with them.

I’ll report on my progress.

 

The Bad Mothers’ Club is now in session

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/04/11/the-bad-moms-club/

Ha ha ha!

Not that DD has done a “What we did on the weekend” diary entry like that. But you never know when she might.

 

Getting a haircut doesn’t hurt but an MRI can

But getting my hair washed in that Basin of Doom and Discomfort does. I go to that particular salon because I like the skills of the hairdressers and have always got nice cuts. In fact I followed that hairdresser from his previous salon.

The only drawback is having my hair washed prior to the cut. The seat at the basin can’t be moved. Consequently I end up with my neck hurting and me fidgeting, and then my stupid stupid neck nerve pain cuts in. (That would be an additional motive for not getting my hair dyed either – more time in the Basin of Doom.)

Anyway, I have taken my Lyrica capsules diligently, took one more this morning as I usually do, and crikey, the pain from my neck and left arm is still quite annoying. My left hip and ankle ache and ache. And no particular painkillers help for that stuff given that most of it is neuropathic pain.

And so help me, if one more person recommends chiropractors or herbs or acupuncture, I will scream my head off, despite how rude it would appear. I have tried it all. Seriously. My GP is not averse to trying alternative therapies even though it hurts my purse.

I got an MRI of my neck a couple of weekends ago. I didn’t know that nuclear scanning places opened on the weekend but I think it’s the only way they can get through all their patients. The MRI was not pleasant at all, to put it mildly. I had to lie still in a metal tube and the non-existent padding underneath caused back spasms. Then the neck and arm spasms started. I could hardly contain myself. There may have been tears and I may have been holding my breath at different points because the pain was excruciating, ending with my pointer and middle fingers having pins and needles and going numb. Each time. You can see why I have been eager to find out why this darn pain happens.

Net result, it’s not all in my head. (You have no idea how many times people with chronic pain hear that.) I have various problems with discs and spurs and so on. Now what do I do? My consultant forgot to write me a referral to a neurosurgeon so I have to chase that up.

I should add now that the haircut looks sweet. DD approves, though she doesn’t approve the creeping skunk line of where I haven’t been colouring my hair. DD also approves of the adorable little shopping precinct where the hairdresser is, and was thrilled with a gluten free, vegan brownie. I would have taken a photo but she was too fast!

Additionally, here’s a pain scale to give you an idea of what can be happening with a fairly silent chronic pain sufferer. We’re not trying to make life difficult, we want to participate in life and fun activities but honestly, sometimes the pain drives us nuts. Hyperbole and a Half http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com.au/ really knows how.

 

Daggy parents rule. It’s OK.

And with that, I breathe a sigh of relief because it’s never been in my genes to be trendy or chic or sophisticated, or the sort of parent who turns heads because she’s immaculately coiffed or has legs that go on for miles, encased in sheer fake tan and high heels.

Sarah Macdonald, thank you for writing Why it’s a parent’s duty to be daggy.

OK, I’m being a little silly equating daggy solely with clothes and hair and shoes. There’s a gentle, kind nature that embarrasses one’s children as well. The ability to be goofy if it’ll make someone laugh, or get a grin from a kid. The pride in being oneself even if one’s kids wish their parent would not go to pick them up from school while wearing ugg boots or Birkenstocks.

“[Kids] need to know we can cut lose but they also need to feel safe, secure and perhaps superior. They need to know we are responsible.”

” Boundaries provide the bedrock for development.” You’re preaching to the choir, Sarah, and that’s fine by me. Yes, I probably irritate DD with boundaries but I can deal with it. They’re not unrealistic boundaries, they have foundations in health and well-being (like needing a certain amount of sleep each night and eating vegies and fruit each day). And y’know, sometimes kids welcome boundaries. That way they know where the line is drawn and what happens when they step over it. That way they know their mum or dad thinks that certain behaviours and beliefs are important, and that some behaviour is simply unacceptable.

I’m off to relish being a dag. To be fair, I’m not wearing Birkenstocks today, but the shoes I’m wearing have a definite mumsy/nurse from the 70s aspect. Maybe I could pick up that part a little bit.

 

It’s Sunday

So I’ll share something I enjoyed from “Stuff Christians Like”.

This one is by a guest blogger, Aaron Summers. It’s Could Star Wars actually be about the early church?

For example:

Han Solo – The brazen one who often acts and speaks before thinking. This is the Apostle Peter. He is conflicted at times between the Jews and Gentiles but settles in to a leader position.

Hmmm. That’s a start.

 

Ow ow ow!

I lost part of a molar a week ago. Got a temporary filling today and I’m going round with a droopy mouth. I look kinda funny but that’s the price you pay. Be glad I’m not posting a photo!

It’s hard to drink from a cup, bottle or straw, I’ve discovered. I also have to go and teach singing very soon so I’d better make sure my mouth can at least help form singing vowels!