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It’s hard to travel

19 Aug

… when part of your luggage is worry.

Since DD was born, I have had 4 nights away from her. Two were when she spent the night at my mother’s over Christmas and I was a suburb away. One was when I eagerly went interstate for a work matter. The other was last weekend when DD had an overnight stay with another relative.

I am heading off on a considerably longer holiday and this time it’s without DH and DD but with my family and family friends. I am really looking forward to the trip but haven’t been able to get as excited about it as I have for previous trips. I know that part of it is because I am a bit depressed and sad after some sad things happening in the past couple of months. Understandable.

But the other things pressing down on me and stopping me from skipping jubilantly? Worry, fretting and more worry. I worry that DH will not be able to look after DD adequately, even though I have written down things in the past and explained and demonstrated things. He doesn’t seem interested in listening or watching or reading. What more can I do? I honestly don’t know. I guess that he will be OK and he has a list of phone numbers of people he can phone for help and ideas, and his family can come to help out. The last time DD and I went away for 5 days interstate, we came back to a filthy house and no minor housework or chores had been done at all. I was furious and even thinking about it now gives me a hot, hard knot in the chest.

He has, thus far this year, spent nearly 6 weeks away from home due to work or hobbies. I lost count of the number of weeks away from home he spent last year or the year before. And yet here I am, spending two weeks away, and I am worrying like he has never worried. I could cheerfully bop any twit who says “Oh, it’s just mother guilt.” Mother guilt, bite me. In this day and age, this is not acceptable.

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1 Comment

Posted by on August 19, 2009 in family, Motherhood

 

Tags: , ,

One response to “It’s hard to travel

  1. Sprite's Keeper

    August 26, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    I feel that way too. I love my husband and he is as devoted to Sprite as I could hope, but sometimes he is more nonchalant about things than I am. I am the planner and worrier in our family. He is the fun one. When I’m not there, I worry that the fun will overlook the possibilities of injury or mess. Granted, messes are expected, but common sense would leave it at a minimum. It’s not mommy guilt. It’s an upset of routine. It’s worry about your family. It’s the what if’s that come out to play.
    I went to BlogHer and left Sprite in the care of John for four days and he managed to potty train her while I was gone. I’ll be a lot better with the next trip.
    Just list your issues and what you want remembered and then just let it go. He’ll do fine with her. Sorry for the lengthy comment. It’s just something I’m far too used to.

     

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