Can you see me?

05 Nov


Seriously, I *am* here. I am hidden behind the ever-expanding piles of paperwork that have grown like topsy since my DH died. I had no idea of the huge amount of work that was involved, and that’s even with a solicitor dealing with the legal side of things.

A little part of me thinks that some things have happened faster because I have got off my tush and bravely phoned some places to get the paperwork for funds releases, etc. I have a knot in my stomach each time I do this. Why? I am not going to be judged by the bank or insurance representatives and it’s their job to give me the correct forms and information. So why am I, a grown woman with a professional background, shilly-shallying around when it comes to phone conversations?

I became ill last week. Bother. Asthma came out of nowhere and hit me for six. I am not a fan of prednisone normally but hey, something that means I can breathe properly is cool by me, even if I end up putting on weight again. Fat butt versus breathing. No competition. Not even with my butt, which looks like two Poll Herefords fighting in a tent.

DD is now sick, poor little thing. After I recovered (mostly) from my endless coughing, she has now got an asthmatic cough. Typically, my darling daughter will not use an inhaler to quickly get the remedy where it can do the most good. Instead, we had to go to the doctor’s ($75) and get a prescription for a syrup solution ($16.95).

I have been counting my dollars and cents and trying not to hyperventilate at how I must budget carefully. The annoying thing is that I do not go off spending hundreds of dollars on fashion, make up, entertainment, books, travel and so on. My one trip overseas in the past few years was achievable by careful scrimping and saving and equally careful watching of euros and pounds while travelling.

I’d share my to-do list but honestly, I don’t want this blog to be used for soporific purposes. Well, any more than it already is LOL!

Yes, some days I can see sunshine and make a few jokes, and then the clouds come over and darkness descends. This afternoon was difficult for quite a while, early mornings are still hard, and Sunday afternoons are dreadful.

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Posted by on November 5, 2009 in family, Life Matters, Motherhood


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