Is this my child? Or me?

05 Dec

This is one of the things that I hope is “a stage that they’ll grow out of”, rather like the 9 weeks of hell that DD went through last year while progressing through to a new, more advanced stage of speech.

DD has started slapping and punching. Not normal behaviour in this household. Sure, we’re loud and we wave our arms around dramatically (what do you expect from performers?) but violence isn’t OK. It’s not OK for me to slap my child though it has been very very very tempting and I’ve given in a couple of times when my smarter, more adult brain hasn’t kicked in fast enough. I know that slapping didn’t make me a smarter, more thoughtful, or quicker adult.

I was pinched yesterday on the arm (something I do not do to DD, or others for that matter!). Today I was slapped and I was thumped in the stomach. Again, out of the norm. DD was aggressive in her language and her stance and got to spend some time in a boring part of the hall until she and I calmed down.

No comments from childcare but I will ask how her behaviour towards other children and her carers are, rather carefully. I am going to find out if the aggro and cheekiness is generalised around her group of friends at this time of year, too. It’s easy to say that each out-of-the-normal bit of behaviour is due to her father dying and no longer being here but I am not sure that this is the full reason. Yes, she did say once today that she wished her dad was here. (So do I.) I do know that her peers are being really lippy and sassy right now, so maybe it is a conjunction of a developmental movement and her own reactions to this family’s changes.

Lord, grant me patience, the smarts to work things out, and friends to suggest good possible solutions.

1 Comment

Posted by on December 5, 2009 in Child Development, children, Motherhood


Tags: , ,

One response to “Is this my child? Or me?

  1. Kristina

    December 9, 2009 at 6:26 am

    I think we all have times when our kids demonstrate less-than appealing behaviors. But honestly, it could be that a lot of her acting out is due to her father’s death. It’s hard for adults to identify and express their emotions related to a loved one dying…for kids who have less verbal skills to pull from, it seems as if it would be especially hard. And of course, your DD has reason to be mad: Her father is gone. Best of luck and sending loving thoughts your way.


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