I love the blog Little Gumnut and I especially loved her list of “I wish someone had told me”. Oh hon, I wish I’d read your words of wisdom, too!
One particular piece of advice is one I will repeat here:
Working at your relationship is an activity, not something you can afford to be passive about. Passivity leads to the relationship lapsing just as much as unresolved arguments.
I admit that when I was lazy about working on my relationship with DH, letting things slide, not being observant etc. then this wasn’t good. On the other hand, putting in the effort will nearly always produce results. In the last 6 months or so of our marriage, DH and I were getting along famously – it almost felt like when we’d first met. I am so very, very grateful for the love and kindness and fun that we had together.