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I confess

My list of minor mea culpas.

1. I can’t stand Bob Dylan or Neil Young, even if most of my friends think they’re the cat’s pyjamas.

2. I blame other people for messes sometimes. Makes me look slightly less disgusting.

3. I have blamed my DD for creating marks on my work shirts. The truth is, I am too lazy to change a shirt just because there’s a mark on it. Heck, it may even be toothpaste from clumsy me.

4. I don’t read enough. I slob around and watch TV because that takes less effort. My years of university study must have worn me out.

5. I procrastinate. That’s why it took me so long to write this list.

6. I find my OCD too hard to deal with sometimes, but other times I sort of like it because it validates me being different.

7. I forgot to RSVP to DD’s friend’s birthday party until today. Party is on Saturday. I suck.

8. Sometimes I don’t take a stand when I should. Like telling people to stop being mean or homophobic, or that their words are like arrows rather than amusing bons mots. I’m getting a bit better with this but I still quake in my shoes while I’m telling people.

8.a. Actually, it was worth growing a spine and standing up for things more often.

9. I left my previous church because I couldn’t stand the music. It was appalling and I hate choruses anyway. I didn’t have the guts to tell the minister that that was the principal reason for leaving.

10. I’ve fallen asleep during intercessory prayers at church. That’s why I don’t kneel for prayers. Well, that, and the fact that my knees and back are getting worse.

11. I compare myself to other mothers and sometimes I fall short, and other times I am smug and think “Thank goodness I’m not like her”. I’m particularly ashamed about that.

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Posted by on February 24, 2010 in Defies description, Life Matters

 

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Suck it up, princess!

Rotten thing to say to a kid? You bet. But apparently one bloke thinks it’s fine to say that to his young son if he looks like he’s going to start blubbering.

I was fascinated by Kylie Orr’s blog entry Pressure to raise a ‘tough boy’. She’s the mother of three boys and a good writer, too. (Andrea, I think you’d like her blog.) Kylie knows there are sweeping generalisations made about boys and crying, how they should toughen up, and how that same mindset isn’t applied to girls.

I am conscious of raising sensitive males not “sooks”. And to me, there is a difference. Sooking and whinging are not encouraged in our home, but we do not chastise our boys for crying if they are hurt or upset. Isn’t this half the problem in adult males? No room to express their true feelings for fear of ridicule and accusations of not being a “real” man?

I see what she means.

It also makes me think about my attitudes towards DD’s crying. Sometimes she bungs it on – and we know it! She looks highly peeved when we call her on it. As a three year old, sometimes her tears are from fear of punishment (though I didn’t actually know that the naughty corner was worth tears), other times it’s empathy, or on the rare occasion, pain from bumping her toes or tiredness from not having a nap. Would I tell a son to suck it up and be a man? Or accept that he was simply exhausted and unable to express it in words? I’d like to think that I would be even-handed and understanding, but I also know that in the heat of the moment, intentions of gender equity can be overridden by old, learned habits.

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2009 in Child Development

 

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A Pink Ban on Vodafone?

This was the term that Eva Cox of the Women’s Electoral Lobby mentioned (I think tongue in cheek *g*).

In an article here, an employee at a Vodafone shop at Geelong’s Bay City Plaza has told a stay at home mum (SAHM) that she can’t buy a new Blackberry Storm. I should add that this handset is only available through Vodafone stores.
The reason they won’t sell phones to SAHMs?

Staff said they didn’t sell mobile phones to full-time mums.

Staff told Mrs Lyndal Fair that she’d have to get her husband to buy the phone. (Is this 2008 or 1908?) Even better, the computer system had no way to let her buy the phone, even if she is well-off enough to pay for it from her household’s accounts.

Vodafone spokesman Greg Spears yesterday confirmed the no-housewives rule and said getting a man to buy the phone instead was the quickest fix.

The policy was meant to stop people signing up for phones they couldn’t afford and unfortunately didn’t take into account that many stay-at-home mums weren’t short of cash.

“It’s not an ideal situation. We’re trying to fix it,” Mr Spears said.

Not ideal? That’s putting it mildly.

Anyway, it also sounds like Vodafone has no idea who controls the purse in many two-parent households, who works out the budget, who deals with utility companies, who chooses the telco …

 
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Posted by on December 17, 2008 in Defies description, Life Matters, Motherhood

 

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This takes the cake!

Bet you didn’t know that breastpumps are offensive, or that mums can multitask, like having their lunch or drinking a cup of tea or using a computer while using a pump or breastfeeding. You *did* know? Well, you’re one up on the good folk at the Westfield Mall at Marion in Adelaide, South Australia.

This article describes how Ms Salmon used the mall’s parenting room as the place to express milk for her little baby during her lunch hour. (Ms Salmon’s daughter was being cared for by her father.) While the mother expressed milk behind a curtain, a cleaner came in and watched what she was doing.

“She told me the parents room was for parents and breastfeeding only – and that I wasn’t allowed to eat lunch in there.’’

“They told me that a little kid had been running around in the parents room and had briefly seen what I was doing and had complained to its mum,’’ she said.

“The mum then complained to security and the cleaner came in to inspect what I was doing. They told me the complaint was that there was a topless woman eating her lunch in the parents room.

“It’s tough enough that I have to do this during my break, but for a complaint to be made about me doing it, is really upsetting.’’

Honestly, this takes the cake. Being a mother is hard enough without ignorance being thrust upon you. All power to Ms Salmon as she takes this to the Equal Opportunity Commission.

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2008 in Defies description

 

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